I Didn't Make It To the Gym Today

Another day, another excuse not to do squats. I slept in today and had a full schedule at the office so I didn’t make it to the gym. I’m afraid of the mind altering pain that’s in store for me when I add squats back into the mix. Hopefully, I can work them tomorrow morning. I haven’t done squats in more than a year. Just thinking about them makes my butt burn. I’m going to take it easy because I’m thirty-eight years old, I’m not a professional athlete, and I don’t want to wind up in the emergency room. I don’t know if it’s a good thing that I’m reminding myself or a bad thing that I need to remind myself.

I read an op-ed in today’s Washington Post about how Obama and Bill Gates are trying to fix education. As per usual with limousine liberals, the biggest reason schools in America suck is because teachers are lazy and teachers’ unions are greedy. I understand that public education is not where it should be, but it really, REALLY, frustrates me when people are successful in something like politics or business and feel it makes them experts in something else. First of all, the chances that both of these guys aren’t crooks range from slim to none. I want to trust them but I don’t. At best, if Obama believes everything he says, so far he’s good at strategy and bad at tactics, and it’s the same with his staff. At best, Gates is trying to get right with God by giving away all his loot – and that’s what it is. At worst he’s pushing his agenda trying to get more foreign tech workers visas so he can pay more and more of his employees less and less. “Behind every great fortune there is a great crime” is true, and with Gates’s history of “situational” ethics, he bears watching. Bill Cosby, Oprah Winfrey, Bill Gates, and Barack Obama have a lot more dilettante in them than proletariat. It makes me glad I’m not a Democrat.

Thanks For Playing, Better Luck Next Time

January 23, 2009, mark it down as the day Barack Obama got reelected President. He seemingly off-handedly told a group of Republican congressman that, “You can't just listen to Rush Limbaugh and get things done." I don’t think the remark was off-handed. Obama is like Jason Bourne; he doesn’t do random, he doesn’t make mistakes. What’s happened since then would have been considered hokey and ham-fisted if Aaron Sorkin had written it for a West Wing episode. Rush Limbaugh’s favorite person, Rush Limbaugh, has been emboldened, if that’s possible, and has gone on a predictably narcissistic bender. He “energized” the Republican base with a speech to the Conservative Political Action Council where he basically accused any Republican calling for new ideas or helping the Obama administration of treachery. We’re looking at you Michael Steele and Newt Gingrich. Anytime an elected Republican is critical of Limbaugh that Republican has to apologize publicly. Barack Obama picked the new Republican leadership, and it looks a lot like the old Republican leadership, and with a ten word sentence he started, what will inevitably become, a GOP civil war. Limbaugh is going to beat his chest constantly for the next three and a half years, screaming about how the Reagan strategy, which is almost thirty years old, is the only strategy – while never having to produce results on anything. I don’t know if he knows he’s being used or not, but I don’t think it matters. People are screaming “Rush” and he’s drawn like a pill popper to the medicine cabinet moth to the flame. The only option for Limbaugh to stop an Obama rubber-stamped reelection is subtlety and deference, and he doesn’t have that club in his bag. He can’t let Michael Steele, Newt Gingrich, John Boehner, and Mitch McConnell – the early favorites for 2012 GOP nominees - be more important than he is. But he also can’t/won’t run for office for a number of reasons. He doesn’t want to work that hard. He doesn’t want to take the massive pay cut. He doesn’t like follow up questions. He’s fat. He’s a recovering drug addict. He has a bad back. He’s deaf. He’s been divorced three times. He barely graduated from high school. And Republicans are jackals. There is no way he could survive a primary against one, let alone multiple, GOP hopefuls with work experience more impressive than “disc jockey”. I like Rush Limbaugh, especially with Democrats controlling everything. He’s smart, funny, and he’s constantly in their faces, which forces them to govern better. But he and the Republican Party are getting worked by possibly the best politician ever. Looking at it from Machiavelli’s Obama’s perspective, if Limbaugh is marginalized then the GOP can become more moderate and his job is easier and he’s guaranteed reelection. If Limbaugh does his peacock thing then the GOP is fractured and Sun Tzu Obama is guaranteed reelection. All the pieces aren’t on the board yet and it’s already checkmate.

Random Stuff

Holy Taco got W's doodles from the inauguration speech




This is Jada Pinkett Smith's death metal band. She's one of the most beautiful women I've ever seen. Which is the only reason I care. Her face is nearly flawless. It feels good to look at her. She looks like a Nubian sculpture - not necessarily in the picture. She started a death metal band. She's black. She's married to the Fresh Prince. I don't think he's TCB'n. I think he's a full on homo Scientologist(allegedly). I think their marriage was a business arrangement just like Tom and Nicole's and Tom and Katie's(allegedly). Who is Hancock's best buddy? Unfortunately, Jada's career hasn't taken off like Nicole's did. She's turned to death metal to deal with her disappointment, resentment, and rage. She's turning her back on Jesus, but not in favor of L. Ron Hubbard like her husband and his "wingman" hope. She's turning to the Dark Lord, the Desolate One. It's just a matter of time before she's trying to conjure up Satan on Oprah. She's going to get jiggy with it in a brand new way. When she's done with the rite will it be Oprah herself, Dr. Phil, Dr. Oz, or Rachel Ray that says, "I'm already here"?

My Understanding of Obama's Inauguration Speech

This is the full transcript of the President's inaugural speech. In case you disagree with my analysis.

What Obama was saying is that W. is retarded, and we're in a monstrous hole because of his tarditude. Thank God we're Americans becuase we're the only people in the history of the world that could come out of the absolutely brutal and constant pooch screwing of the last eight years.

I'll end this on a happy note: FORMER PRESIDENT GEORGE W. BUSH.

Everybody’s Got a Plan Till They Get Punched in The Face

I can’t remember if it was Plato or Mike Tyson who said this. But right now it’s in my top 5 profound thoughts of all time. There seems to be a lot of people worried about what Barack Obama is going to do, and how quickly he’s going to do it, to make the world peachy keen before the end of the year. There are people who object to the homophobe that will swear him in. There are people who have a problem with the gay bishop he’s appointing. It seems that people on both the right and left expect Obama the president to be the same guy as Obama the candidate. For the love of Krispy Kreme I hope this is not the case. The closing of the prison at Guantanamo Bay is higher on people’s priority list for the president than I think it should be. Philosophically, I agree with all of the popular reasons for closing Gitmo: human rights, constitutional illegality, we’re better than that. And I’d be more than philosophically on board if more Americans understood that getting punched in the face is a cost of doing business. Oil is cheap because we screw people over. Food is cheap because we screw people over. Clothes are cheap because we screw people over, and sometimes these people get fed up. When they do, we have a choice. We can take a step back for a moment of reflection and examine what may have caused our neighbors’ outbursts, or we can hit them back. I’m fine with either choice, but I think we should own that choice. We should embrace the evil that it is to be Americans. But we don't. We want our sausage, but we don’t want to see how it’s made. That’s crap – figuratively and literally. We’re not God’s noblest children. We never have been. We never will be. There has never been a good leader who was a good guy, and I hope Obama understands that.

I'm Trying to Post Everyday, Too.

I started a rather nasty manifesto that won't be published until it is revised - if it's published at all. I'm trying to be more positive in my outlook and less punitive in my responses. This is diametrically opposed to what I'm writing in my manifesto. I think the manifesto, if it is released, it will mean that everything has broken down. But that's not going to happen because my positive energy, and the endless supply of Tony Robbins quotes available on the Internet are indefatigable. President elect Obama is testing me already. He's about to be sworn in as POTUS, yet his ridiculous cult loyal followers continue to beg me for money like a homeless guy at the bottom of an exit ramp. You won. I voted for you. Stop begging. I think a more constructive use of your time would be coming up with a strategy to let the world know you're not a bitch, without starting or finishing a nuclear war. One of the things I'm going to miss about the W regime is the world's abject fear healthy respect of W's potential to act capriciously. Laura's not in the mood, fine. Let's end the world. My bike has a flat tire, fine. Let's end the world. I don't condone this attitude, and "I challenge W to make his life a masterpiece. I challenge him to join the ranks of those people who live what they teach, who walk their talk" - Tony Robbins. Can Obama get out of my pocket and actualize his synergy to help America be the best America America can be? I'm pretty sure I know his answer, and his positivity helps me in the positivization of my own ideal tomorrow. Thank you for motivating me, Barry. Allow me to return the favor by offering you some motivation. When the Dow gets back over 11 thousand I'll send you five dollars. When the Cuban embargo is lifted I'll send you a hundred. A salaam alaikum.

Possibly the Greatest Thing Ever

This is the last political post of the year. I promise.

Uh-Oh

The New World Order without Hulk Hogan

Barack Obama was just elected President of the United States, and right now I’m thinking about LMJ in 15 years when she says, “so”, because it won’t be a big deal to her. “Yeah he was black. So is President Rice.” This is a “Where were you when,” moment in history. I was in my house on Oak Street in my PJ's. It’s the first good historical moment that I’ve personally experienced. I remember Ronald Reagan getting shot. I remember the Challenger exploding. I remember 9/11. Strangely, I feel pretty much the same way tonight that I did when the other events happened, with the exception of 9/11, which my brain couldn’t process. I remember Eddie Murphy joking about Jesse Jackson running – literally and figuratively – in 1984, worrying about someone shooting him if he won. I don’t worry about that with President Obama – PRESIDENT OBAMA (technically President Elect but right now it feels good to write it). Strangely enough, President Bush’s (W minus 75 days) draconian agenda is going to keep President Obama safe. Wire tapping Middle America is no longer just easy, it’s also legal. I don’t think the right wing Rambo wannabes thinking about gearing up to take the country back really have the stomach for a stay at Fort Guantanamo Bay, Cuba. Those t-shirts aren’t so funny anymore are they Rush Limbaugh fan? I’ll put my money on the Secret Service. Catch one Neo-Nazi; you catch ‘em all. When I think about it, W made all of this possible. If he wasn’t the worst President since Ulysses S. Grant there is no way Joe Sixpack would vote for a non-white candidate. If W had gotten 9/11 right, or the economy right, or Katrina right, or The War on Terror right, or education right John McCain would be President. Even if he ran the ridiculous campaign that he ran.

The celebrating is over. You have 175 days (W minus 75 then your first 100)to get your s**t straight Mr. President Elect. Barack Obama is not going to be a good President. He’s either going to be FDR – we hope – or Jimmy Carter – we hope not.

A few pieces of advice:

· KEEP HILARY CLINTON OUT OF THE LINE OF SUCCESSION AT ALL COSTS.
· Unite the country. Reach out to the Republicans in Congress and make sure their minority voice is considered.
· Stop running for office and govern

Because I will vote for Mitt Romney in 2012 if you suck.