Random Thoughts

I watched the Seminoles effortlessly crush the Hurricanes with their bare hands today, and my Dutch friend Heineken came along for the ride, so thoughts aren't really rattling around in my head as much as they are sloshing.



If Obama wins the election Hillary Clinton's political career is over, for all intents and purposes. She can continue to be a wonderful senator and statesman(person), but she's not going to run for President in 2016 when she's 69. My question is if Obama is elected is there any reason for her to continue to put up with her husband's crap? I'd be very surprised if there aren't WJC contingency plans for spending some time getting to know the governor of Alaska, win, lose or draw. She's hot, she's dumb, and she's attracted to power. How is this not in Bill Clinton's wheelhouse?



WJC: Governor(Ms. Vice President), I know how you feel about Roe v. Wade, and I'm sure there would never be another abortion if I could just see you naked.



SP: I don't know...



WJC: Governor(Ms. Vice President), this is where politics ends and doing God's work begins. Sarah, ask yourself, do you care about the unborn or not?



SP: Well, okay, if you really think it will help.



I'm guessing this conversation happens before Thanksgiving. If it happens in Washington, Hillary let's it go because she'll need Bill in 2012. If it happens in Anchorage, there's no downside to Hillary castrating Bill and making him hold his own severed junk while he bleeds to death on a sheet of ice. What New Yorker would hold it against her? Women would empathize, and men would think, "Damn! You couldn't even wait until Christmas?" Five years later the movie would be made. Dennis Quaid would play Bill. Meg Ryan would play Hillary. And Catherine Zeta Jones would play Sarah because her Welsh accent is just as jacked up as Palin's Tundra accent. Bill Clinton would direct. If you don't think there's an army of Bill Clinton clones running around in some lab in Harlem then you're just naive.

What the...? If We Can't Laugh at Stupid People, then Who Can We Laugh At?

This is freaking awesome! I just have some questions. Is being a closeted homosexual worth all this trouble? Isn't it easier to just let your freak flag fly? While open homosexuality will most certainly make it more difficult to get elected to the United States Senate in Idaho, isn't getting busted by a cop whose job it is to stake out public men's bathrooms for rampant, random, booty calls a much bigger humiliation? I can only imagine the touchdown dance the arresting officer did when he found out he'd bagged a US senator. This is even better than getting to tell a busted John that the hooker he was with is really a dude. What makes this even better is that Sen. Larry Craig (R-ID) is acting like this is all some huge misunderstanding, even though he's already pleaded guilty. Sure you're not a homosexual, Senator. Why is he trying to pick up men in a public bathroom in Minnesota; why not New York or L.A.? I'm sure he's more likely to find Jai or Perci in a big coastal city, while he's more likely to find Sven or Olaf in the Midwest -- and it's not cold enough yet for them to swing that way.



Equally as freaking awesome is Travis Henry, Denver Broncos running back. He has fathered NINE children with NINE women in four states. He's 28 years old. Wow! Feel free to mix in a prophylactic at any point, or better yet a vasectomy. What's even funnier is that he's a pot smoker(I thought pot was supposed to lower sperm count) and not that good so he doesn't even make the crazy bank one might expect for an NFL player. Idiot