Just Pick a Motley Crue Song

Motley Crue members Nikki Sixx and Tommy Lee had a contest during one of their world tours during the late ‘80’s to see who could go the longest without bathing and still hook up with groupies. They went months and never reached that point. Their own filth disgusted them more than it disgusted the groupies, and they bathed. I think the Republican Party is having a similar contest. They’re trying to find out how unfit a nominee can be and still get elected. Unfortunately, they don’t seem to have reached their own filth threshold. They started with Ronald Reagan, a semi-wax figure former B movie actor, and supply sider. George H.W. Bush was given the VP slot to assuage the fears of actual Conservatives in the Republican Party – as opposed to the Dixiecrats that treat the party like the new socially acceptable Ku Klux Klan. Reagan was a way to dip their toes in the River Tard. Dan Quayle was a proto W, but since his wife, Marilyn, is smart and hardworking and always did Dan’s homework anyway, they had a backstop. Twelve years later they cannonballed in with a fully (non)functional W and consummate grumpy old man Dick Cheney. Think about this. Half the country voted (twice) for a spoiled, lazy, son of New England old money talking with a fake Southern accent. The over/under on how long it is before W starts sounding like Thurston Howell III after he leaves office is three weeks. This brings us to SARAH! DON’T F**K WITH OUR SARAH!!! The reelection of W shook my father’s faith in God. If SARAH! is a bone in McCain’s bangers and mash away from the Oval Office I’m pretty sure he’s going to turn to Voodoo and there will be sacrifices in the back yard. If ignorance is bliss then she knows heaven. She’s vacuous like a stereotypical beauty queen, and I don’t know where that comes fr…oh wait a minute, that’s right. Women are starting to feel sorry for her because she’s so far out of her element, and I’m afraid this is going to turn into votes for her. If McCain and Palin are elected I don’t know how the Republican Party tops it. The groupies are clearly ready for some unprotected group sex in a pig sty.