Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Just some random thoughts from my day so far

I just got an e-mail from an investment company lauding the benefits of transparency in today’s market. Should I infer that opaqueness was the way to go in yesterday’s market? Since when is honesty a marketing ploy?

I was ogling these two hot chicks in the elevator this morning, and they ruined the moment by opening their mouths. They sounded like Taylor Mali’s poem “Totally like whatever, you know?” One chick kept making statements that sounded like questions like, “I haven’t even picked out a dress yet? I mean I haven’t even looked in my closet?” The other chick added, “Yeah”.

I hate paperwork. I had to skip the gym this morning so I could get my ducks in a row for a meeting tomorrow. I have to write a letter of instruction that can’t be misunderstood, but can’t come across as condescending. This is difficult because I am condescending. The people in Fidelity’s back office are stupid, in an officious “I’ll make you redo this out of spite” kind of way. I once got an application sent back because they said my 2 looked like a 6 and they just wanted to make sure they got it right. It never occurred to them that there is no 16th month of the year. No one was born on 16/25/1941. Unless one of them happens to be reading this, in which case they’re the best in the industry and that’s why I do business with them.

I hate the Florida Gators. If they win the national championship in football this year I’m going to have to kill myself or a lot of other people. I hate the Seminoles more. There are no academic requirements for athletes at FSU. FAMU being in Tallahassee is a massive recruiting advantage, so what possible excuse can the coaching staff have for fielding a crappy team for the eighth year in a row. The last time Florida State didn’t suck Bill Clinton was still President.

3 comments:

JSG said...

Oy, what a circuitous post!

¶ 1 Honesty is a hot marketing ploy because it's new, silly!

¶ 2 Palin was kinda' cute too, until she started to speak.

¶ 3 I have a feeling that if you wrote down a recipe for baking cookies it would likely come across as condescending. It's what you do, and it's why we love to read it.

¶ 4 Even after 12 years in Florida the college football phenomenon still fascinates me. Do they have classes and libraries at those colleges, or would it they just get in the way of the game?

LJ said...

4. FSU actually closed school on a Thursday because the Seminoles were playing that night.

Cora Spondence said...

I'm just grateful you wrote (always a treat)a long enough post to jolt that Palin photo off my screen when I visit your blog. Bless your crankiness on so many thngs.