What To Do With A Sleeping Baby

I’m at home with a baby who has a head cold. She didn’t sleep well last night, therefore neither did her parents. We went outside this morning and played. I’m a big believer in the recuperative powers of physical activity and fresh air. We played in the sand. We played in my car. We played with a beach ball. We played with a basketball. We had an all around good time. Then I decided to take her on a walk. It would keep her outside in the sunshine longer, and it would let me work some of the lactic acid out of my legs - a very laid back recovery run. We were going to walk down to the Starbucks in Five Points, pick up a pound of that uncut stuff, and walk back. The route is between 3.18 and 3.20 miles, depending on how my 305 is feeling. It takes about 45 minutes there and back. We started up the block. I was singing Let’s Go Driving in an Automobile to her when I looked down and she was asleep. We were .66 mile into the walk, and I had an executive decision to make. Do I keep walking and let her get a guaranteed half hour of sleep in the sun or do I turn around and go home so she can sleep in a warm bed for up to two hours, but risk her getting no sleep and spending the rest of the day cranky? I rolled the dice. Fortune favors the bold. We went home and she slept for a good ninety minutes, which confirmed that she has more than just the sniffles – poor, sweet, silly baby. She woke up happy and rested. We had some lunch while we watched a Sesame Street Podcast. Then we finished our walk. Unfortunately, I forgot to stop at Starbucks and get some coffee. Hopefully, MJ is reading this at work instead of doing her job and stops on her way home.

Can We Put the Phone Down? YES WE CAN!

Hey! Howyadoin? I got in my car, drove to Starbucks, spent $4 on coffee, and then I called you on my cellular phone to talk about things other than business, getting together, or what kind of tasty treat you want. What’s that? Yeah, I guess I could have skipped steps one thru three, but why would I want to do that? How else are people going to know that I have a social life if I’m not sitting by myself and screaming into a phone at Starbucks?

Is this just part of the culture of the 21st century? I don’t understand the thought process. I don’t understand where Starbucks fits in. I could understand where a bar fits in, but not a coffee house. It’s the holidays. It’s a chance to catch up with friends and family. Sometimes catching up can’t be in person. 4 fingers of Jameson and a pint of Guinness would make the situation better no matter how the relationship is. Espresso does nothing but force a bathroom break. Why is a trip and stay to Starbucks necessary to make a chatty phone call? I was at the Starbucks to provide moral support to a teacher who didn’t want to grade. She was there to escape the baby who had been tugging at her leg. El Cabron behind us screaming into his phone in Spanish was rambling on about nothing. His conversation consisted of remember this, remember that. It’s a free country, at least for another 18 days, and I don’t think people who have to be on the phone or they get twitchy should spend extended time in maximum security prisons. They just baffle me. Do I baffle them? Do they see me at a stoplight with no Bluetooth in my ear and assume I’m deaf? Do they write on their crappy blogs about not understanding people who accumulate rollover minutes, “How can you not be talking to someone on the phone? How can this guy stand to be alone with his thoughts?” Maybe that’s what it is. Maybe phonaholics can’t ignore or appreciate the voices coming from inside their heads, so they need a voice coming from outside their heads to drown them out. We think that’s just sad.