Hey! Howyadoin? I got in my car, drove to Starbucks, spent $4 on coffee, and then I called you on my cellular phone to talk about things other than business, getting together, or what kind of tasty treat you want. What’s that? Yeah, I guess I could have skipped steps one thru three, but why would I want to do that? How else are people going to know that I have a social life if I’m not sitting by myself and screaming into a phone at Starbucks?
Is this just part of the culture of the 21st century? I don’t understand the thought process. I don’t understand where Starbucks fits in. I could understand where a bar fits in, but not a coffee house. It’s the holidays. It’s a chance to catch up with friends and family. Sometimes catching up can’t be in person. 4 fingers of Jameson and a pint of Guinness would make the situation better no matter how the relationship is. Espresso does nothing but force a bathroom break. Why is a trip and stay to Starbucks necessary to make a chatty phone call? I was at the Starbucks to provide moral support to a teacher who didn’t want to grade. She was there to escape the baby who had been tugging at her leg. El Cabron behind us screaming into his phone in Spanish was rambling on about nothing. His conversation consisted of remember this, remember that. It’s a free country, at least for another 18 days, and I don’t think people who have to be on the phone or they get twitchy should spend extended time in maximum security prisons. They just baffle me. Do I baffle them? Do they see me at a stoplight with no Bluetooth in my ear and assume I’m deaf? Do they write on their crappy blogs about not understanding people who accumulate rollover minutes, “How can you not be talking to someone on the phone? How can this guy stand to be alone with his thoughts?” Maybe that’s what it is. Maybe phonaholics can’t ignore or appreciate the voices coming from inside their heads, so they need a voice coming from outside their heads to drown them out. We think that’s just sad.
1 comment:
I need a voice from outside my head to quiet the voices in my head. You're pretty quiet and low key though which explains why I can still hear myself.
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