MJ was giving me crap because I haven't posted since May 26th.
Newborns disrupt their parents’ schedules. I’ll give everyone a chance to recover from that bit of wisdom because I know I’ve blown your minds. LMJ has ruined my exercise regimen. I’ve been to the gym once since she was born. I’ve run maybe thrice. I’m not gaining weight though because sleep deprivation burns calories. MJ and I have a pretty good system of dealing with our bundle of joy at night, but it’s just a matter of time before LMJ has eroded all of our reserves and at least one of us goes insane. She sprayed poo all over the changing area as I was changing her diaper at 3am because she was angry at me. I cursed, spun around, and was glad that the baby wipes were cold because covering me in yellow excrement isn’t right. When I’m extra tired I get into battles of the will with my daughter, which is stupid, but that’s what happens when one if fatigued. It’s easy when she’s screaming because her eyes are closed, but when her clean diaper is on and I pick her up she stops caterwauling and opens her eyes it’s over – LMJ wins by vicious heart melt.
This is a public service announcement to everyone in the South who is not acclimated. When someone on the street smiles and says hello, return the greeting. It’s polite. If the greeting isn’t returned you run the risk of insulting someone. The consequences range from being thought of as a jerk to sharing the same fate as the Shoalin Monks who didn’t return the greeting of the White Lotus master Pai Mei. I don’t condone the use of the five point palm exploding heart technique, but to each his own.
From the easier said than done department:
I’ve agreed to run in a breast cancer ½ marathon in February. I don’t think I have to have breast cancer to enter. I’m pretty sure it’s a charity event to raise money for a cure. (Cancer joke, really? That’s a bold move) I have no idea how I’m going to get ready for it (see first paragraph) but it seemed like a good idea at the time. I don’t know why it seemed like a good idea because I don’t remember enjoying miles six through nine of the River Run, and the ½ marathon will introduce miles ten, eleven, twelve, and thirteen. I may have to drop down to about 175 lbs. to run this thing comfortably. Losing that much weight will not be fun, but putting it back on will be, and I will be extra super ready for the River Run in March.
3 comments:
I like the interesting range of topics in this post. Pleasantly meanders like anyone would expect of a new parent...
Yay for the update LJ! I'm glad MJ got on your case 'cause I was about to give you grief, too. LOL at the yellow poo all over you. LMJ is just trying to initiate you into the world of fatherhood. She's doing a great job, I see!
Don't even try the contest of wills. She wins. Get used to it.
As to the Breast Cancer 1/2 - I think EJG and I are doing that too. And the 175 lb thing? We can already run the 1/2 (at a pace roughly twice yours) on a Sunday morning, so unless you're looking to set a land speed record, chalk it up for the experience and the good cause and enjoy!
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