Basketball Is for Young People

I didn't run today. The heat index was reported in Kelvin. I remember a Battlestar Galactica TOS episode where they were on a planet that was so cold its atmosphere liquefied at night. The fact that this can't happen doesn't matter. There was a Cylon super laser that needed to be destroyed. Anyway, today was the exact opposite of that. I blew out an air cushion in my Nike's so I played basketball instead of running. If I set an 8 minute mile pace, and I'm motivated, I can run all day. I used to be able to step onto the basketball court and bust people up from sunrise to sunset, not anymore. I'm in better cardiovascular shape than I've been since the early '90's, but the ridiculous histrionics my muscles and joints need to go thorough before they're ready to help me brutalize some fool on the hardwood/concrete make me want to cry. I feel like Al Bundy. I feel like Rico Dynamite. I'm living too much in '89, when trying to guard me would result in as close an approximation of prison love as one is likely to find outside a maximum security facility. '07 LJ has to warm up so he can stretch so he can warm up. It's an embarrassing display I used to watch with confusion and contempt for those wincing, groaning, and holding up the game. Now I am that guy. I shoot jump shots instead of taking it to the rim. I box out and use my body to rebound instead of skying over the weak. I don't push the ball up the court on the fast break. Hell, I can't remember the last time I played an actual full court game. I really do not like being the wily, crafty veteran. I much preferred being the rookie sensation. Maybe getting old is better than the alternative, but not by much on the basketball court.