Britney Spears is Actually a More Thoughtful Lyricist than Bob Dylan

2008 is an election year. Technically, every year is an election year – someone is always running for something. But 2008 is a big election year. All the worthless turds in the House of Representatives are lying to keep their jobs; one out of three worthless turds in the Senate is lying to keep their jobs; and a Muslim terrorist is running against a Protestant cattle rustler for President. That’s pretty big. I’ve been perusing some political bulletin boards, and I’ve noticed a few things. I’m really surprised by the number of self-made millionaire, S.E.A.L., C.I.A. black operator, Nobel laureate economist, lawyers, under the age of forty, who fought in Viet Nam that seem to have a lot of free time in the middle of the day. I love that these guys – guys because chicks just aren’t stupid in this way - are from small town middle America and in their free time, when they aren’t trying to hide their fortunes from socialist Black racists, talk to their many Black Republican friends, who all willingly, yet shamefully, admit they are voting for the community organizer, strictly because of their shared racial characteristics. I only lurk, and don’t post, on these boards because I’m not going to argue with crazy people unless it’s about something important, like MMA. And these are the best places to find Photshopped pictures of Sarah Palin. There are reasonable people who frequent these boards, at least for a time. Their posts get shorter as their frustration grows, culminating in the black hole of angry bulletin board posts, “Source or fail!” Someone writes something outlandish as a fact like, “Records show Obama was a Weatherman in the sixties,” and it’s a race to see who can reply with “Source or fail!” first. I’m thinking about starting to say this in real life. When someone states something as fact that I find dubious, “Source or fail!” I’m going to be lots of fun at parties.

Party Goer: This is going to be the best Christmas ever.
LJ: SOURCE OR FAIL.

I’m also thinking about benching la cerveza and moving rum into the starting lineup. Great men get drunk on hard liquor. Source: Ulysses S. Grant, Teddy Roosevelt, Winston Churchill, Harry Truman, Ernest Hemingway, Mel Gibson, Lindsay Lohan. I could go on.

After proofreading this post, I really hope I mellow out after the elections.