The Gods Are Conspiring to Make Me Fat

I hurt myself lifting weights this morning. I wasn't even doing anything dangerous. I was just getting revved up in my chest routine when it felt like I got hit in the back of the head with a pipe or branch or some other type of heavy blunt object. I know no one actually did hit me in the back of the head because I was lying down on a bench. My ears were ringing and the base of my skull had seized up like I had been hit with a tazer. This lasted for about ten minutes before I went home. I was only an eighth of the way through my workout and I did zero cardio. I put ice on the back my head and took four Advils. That seemed to do the trick.


But then I learned about this, the Fatty Melt.

It's basically a patty melt, but instead of melting the cheese onto the burger, you stuff the burger between two grilled cheese sandwiches. This is why America is better than everywhere else. The Swiss never came up with anything cool like this.