I Almost Died

We are not set up for cold weather at all here in the Sunshine State. I thought it was quaint that the temperature was 29 degrees when I left for work this morning. It was actually freezing – winter yea! It stopped being quaint when the 22 mph winds blew right through my coat freezing me to the bone on my fifty foot walk from my car to my office building. I almost died. I went for a run this afternoon when it was warmest around 42 degrees. Every breath I took hurt my lungs like I was chain smoking menthol cigarettes and my Forerunner 305 was shortchanging me on my distance. I almost died. The track at the Y may not be exactly 1/6th of a mile like it’s supposed to be but I know that whatever the distance is it’s constant. My first six laps were .83 miles. My second six laps were .77 miles. That’s almost a hundred yards difference. I didn’t cut through the infield so where’s my hundred yards (and my 40 acres and a mule while we’re at it)? I understand that it’s hard to be accurate measuring a guy running in a 1/6th of a mile circle from 100 miles above the earth while I sit here comfortable, writing in my warm house, spraying AquaNet out the window to help the global warming, but not when I’m running. If a guy moved a mile marker as I approached it during a race because it was a hundred yards short I would shoot him in his kneecap, catch my breath, and then scream at him until he bled to death. Cheating me out of mileage isn’t okay. And when I got home and tried to upload my bogus stats I got cryptic error messages. What the hell is the point of running if my gadgets don’t work? MJ updated some USB drivers and got the thing to work, but it was close; I almost died.