'06 Recap '07 Goals

In '06 I dropped more than 40lbs, my waist went from 42in to 36in, my pullups went from 12 to 30 reps, and my bench press reps at 225lbs dropped from 15 to 12( a small price to pay for the weight loss). I was also bitten by the running bug, and finished my first 15k yesterday. I'm happy with everything except my bench and my race times. Unfortunately, my ego Old Scratch, has gotten involved with the decision making process for my '07 goals. The following are carved in stone, and barring my maimage(it's a word. I just wrote it) and/or death, will be accomplished by next year's Gate River Run.

1. Finish the River Run with a chip time of 59:59. That's almost 18 minutes behind the race record so it's not impossible.

2. I'm bouncing 225 lbs. twenty-five times. There will be no steroids, no HGH, I won't even use creatine.

We're going to keep it simple. We're going to keep it moving. These goals may seem counterintuitive, but they're not. I just have to eat right, and eat a lot.

The 30th Annual Running of the Gate River Run

I finished my first 15k/9.3m race today. Not to sound too arrogant, but there isn't much in middle class American life that I find truly difficult -- this was. I don't feel good physically. I couldn't feel better mentally. There were 14 thousand other people who ran the race today, and I have have respect for each and every one of them. Congratulations to all the finishers. I want to thank E&J for allowing me to tag along -- not the brandy, but the nice couple pictured above. I ran the race to enjoy it and hang out, not to try to win it. If I hadn't decided to run with them one of two things would have happened: I would have run a sub 1 hour race, or I would have died slowly and painfully. I'm pretty sure the 180 foot high Hart Bridge would have chosen option 2 for me, and that would have been embarrassing. I haven't felt this good about a physical accomplishment since I first dunked a basketball on a legit rim. My next post is going to be my goals for the upcoming year and option 1 is going to be near the top of the list -- it's the testosterone poisoning, there's nothing I can do.

Bringing Sexy Back

I got an e-mail from a photo guy with pictures of Ya Boy from the Retro River Run. But he's offering packages like he was Olan Mills. I'm not interested in matte or glossy. It's 2007, I'm interested in gif or jpg. I don't mind paying for the photos per se -- everyone needs to make a living -- but am I narcissistic enough to pay to put photos of me on a coffee cup? The problem is that I really like the picture. I look like an athlete. I look like a guy in his early thirties. The only problem with the picture is that I'm not exercising my 2nd amendment rights. I've tried every way I know of to steal the image from the site i.e. I right clicked on it. Unfortunately the guy has some copyright software going or something. This is a link to the picture. You may want to save this page because if I do drop the $8 to $10 on a package I will edit this post and pretend that I'm not a failed cyber petty thief. http://www.photoreflect.com/pr3/OrderPage.aspx?pi=05XX003V090013&po=14&c=

Signing In

I'm on the "New" Blogspot. Apparently the "Old" Blogspot has been assimilated by Google aka Microsoft aka the desolate one. I understand that security is needed for legal and money sites, but this is a free blog service. If I don't want certain info on here I won't put it on here. I'm frustrated that I have to sign in every time I come to my blog. I wouldn't be so frustrated if there wasn't a "remember me" check box under the login that refuses to remember me. I'm also frustrated that my "password strength" is evaluated. I won't be surprised if in a year I'll need a retinal scan to write about why the right socks are just as important as the right shoes when running more than five miles. My dear, dear friend Beth's son has pink eye. What if he needed to blog about why shrink wrapped tissues are better toys than talking dolls, but the pink eye prevented him from giving a definitive retinal scan? If the children can't blog then what the hell are we doing?

Retro River Run

I just finished the Retro River Run. You can find out all about it here http://www.gate-riverrun.com/. It was a 5k (not mile) so it was short. However, we did go over both the Main Street and the Acosta bridges. I was using this as a tune up to the real deal next week. My instinct was to haul ass (running term) but I knew that wasn't what I needed. I needed to learn how to pace myself so that I'll be able to get over the friggin' huge (engineering term) Hart Bridge. So I got behind this chick that was puttering along, and let her set my pace. She was running about an 11 minute mile, which was frustrating because this was a short race. It's weird running in a race and not pushing myself. I wasn't even breathing hard following her. We ran through downtown, over the Main Street Bridge, through South Bank, to the Acosta Bridge. At the base of the Acosta was the 2 mile marker reading 22m48s. I thought to myself cool I can cruise at this pace all day; I'm ready for next week, so when I get to the top of the bridge I'll let myself go. Which I did, and I finished the course in 30m04s. I ran the last mile in 7m16s, and that was fun. I got pitched on this race back in October by a guy I know who used free beer as a selling point. Free beer, cerveza gratis, 免費啤酒, whatever the language it's music to my ears. I thought the free beer was going to be for the runners only, but no. It was open to anyone who happened to be at the Jacksonville Landing after the race, and there was only one station serving the free Miller Lite. So of course there was a line all the way across the mall. I'm not waiting more than 2 minutes for Miller Lite let alone an hour. It's watered down swill not Splash Mountain. So I rounded up my groupies -- my wife and my mother-in-law -- and we walked from the Landing back to the YMCA where we parked and drove home. This is my second race in two weeks, and I had am having a blast.

What constitutes a perfect evening for me?

My dear, dear friend Beth has declared Thursdays Meme Days, and she has given us our first topic to discuss. What constitutes a perfect evening? An 8-ball of coke and a couple of hookers. Whoops! wrong blog. My perfect evening would be spent at a high end steakhouse -- the J'ville Ruth's Chris on the river most likely -- surrounded by family and friends. What I really enjoy about Ruth's Chris and Morton's is that they do what they do. It's about the food not the chef. Their genius is in choosing the best beef available, and not in the chef's take on mango mayonaise or asparagus flan. Not that there is anything wrong with mango mayonaise or asparagus flan, but this is my perfect evening. I would get the cowboy ribeye (does that sound gay to anyone else?). It's an extra large piece of meat with the bone in it for flavor. Choosing wine is like taking a test, so I just order Heineken. We spend the next three hours eating too much, drinking too much, and thouroughly enjoying each other's company. It's a time to catch up and grow closer. Everyone seems to forget their problems for a moment, and that is a wonderful thing. Nights like these should only happen four or five times a year because the law of diminishing returns definitely kicks in and we start to take each other for granted. I'm lucky enough to have more of these evenings than most

The Scope of the Blog

My baby mama (MBM) wants me to write here more often, and not restrict this to a running log on the web. She also wants me to keep it PG-13. I have a tendency to get a little dark, and she doesn't want a concrete record of my quirkiness -- psychosis is her word. Stream of Consciousness alert! I'm looking at my first sentence and I'm almost overwhelmed by the "running log on the web" pun opportunities. She says that once I start down the dark path, forever will it dominate my destiny. I don't remember if she put it just that way, but more eloquent she could not have been. So this entry is about how I came to running. Last March when MBM was on her "Hens' Weekend" I ate nothing but pizza and bratwursts, and I drank nothing but St. Paulie Girl (pbuh). I stepped on the scale the following Monday and tipped that bad boy at 259.5 lbs. Enough was enough. I dropped twelve pounds effortlessly, but then I couldn't lose another ounce. Apparently, when I turned thirty-five certain large chunks of fat decided to retire around my waist. They dug in like Zionists on the West Bank. This waist was promised to them by God, and they would not be removed. I was like Ariel Sharon. I had a large hand in putting these chunks there, and we'd had a lot of fun doing it. But for a healthy Israel/me some changes needed to be made. I saw a nutritionist in June, and she put me on a diet. I added an hour of cardio to my weight lifting, and I started to shrink. Maybe I'm not like Israel. Maybe I'm like Great Britain in the first half of the 20th century. I spent a long time building a glorious empire and now I was giving it back -- we'll call it streamlining. Anyway, I was in decent shape by October when a colleague of MBM put together a group to train for the River Run. I figured what the heck. J'ville is my home, and I should run the River Run at least once. Unfortunately, as is my wont, I am now obsessed with running faster and faster. I'm not running as a way to stay healthy. I'm running to beat whatever time I ran the last time. After the River Run -- if I survive -- I will be posting my fitness goals for the coming year.

Oh yeah, I've discovered the dietary wonder that is prunes. I've added 4oz. of prunes a day to the pound of spinach and 2 servings of oatmeal. You may refer to my colon as Chuck Norris.