All By Myself

I’m the Ronin. I split my extended family into two groups, older than me and younger than me. I have a toe in both groups but I’m not really part of either one. I have a cousin five years older than me and my sister is nine years younger. There’s no one else around. I guess my older cousin, CMA, far right middle row, is in the same boat. She’s five years older than me and five years younger than her sister, top row second from the left. Outside the two of us there have always been bunches of children. My sister is two years older than our next youngest cousin, and after him there was a baby born in my family four years in a row. CMA’s older sister was the last of a group of three babies born within about eighteen months of each other. When I lived in Washington I was the baby for nine years. That’s how I remember myself being treated whenever we all got together. When my sister was born we moved down here, there was a population explosion, and I was the oldest. I have two distinct roles in the family. The only time the two worlds have collided was when my grandmother died. I was in my thirties and I got the “Oh! Look how Yodel has grown up” looks. We hadn’t seen each one another in more than twenty years, but it was still shocking because I’d been the old outlier among my sister and younger cousins for those twenty years. I’m the babysitter in one group and the babysat in the other. I think I’m the one to write this thing because I don’t think the two groups have spent much time together. By the time the younger group was up and running, the older group was into their careers and starting families of their own. Our parents’ generation is getting old. My mom is the oldest, she’s 67. My younger uncle is the youngest, he’s about to turn 50. Time is starting to become a factor. I’m glad I stumbled on to this. I may have finally found a project I’m passionate about. This is going to be fun.