Random Thoughts and Questions

I’m starting to write down thoughts that pop into my mind that I think are funny, and I’m going to share some of them.

When either of these two questions is asked, diplomacy never had a chance: You lookin’ at me? and You think you’re better than me? They don’t suggest open-mindedness. They’re almost always rhetorical, and they’re usually followed by an overhand right.

These next thoughts were inspired by Harry Belafonte singing s A Long Time Ago in Bethlehem.

There’s a Florida Gator joke that goes, “Why does the St. John’s river flow north? Because Georgia sucks.” Is there a Muslim parallel about the Nile and Israel or is there too big of a cultural gap?

Why isn’t there a heavy metal band named Deathlehem or at least a song, and if there is then why haven’t they made it big? How can you suck with a name like Deathlehem? I’ve got an idea for a movie called Deathlehem. It’s basically a buddy cop movie, but instead of detectives they’ll be prophets. The team will be Moses, Jesus, and Mohammed. Moses will be the wily, crafty veteran and senior prophet. Jesus will be the on the edge burnout who’s seen too much, but constantly feels the need to prove that he didn’t get the job just because of who his dad is. He won’t be able to do any of paperwork because of the Stigmata. Mohammed will be the by the book rookie who won’t bend the rules – procedure over efficiency – and will only speak in Arabic. Abel has been resurrected and sent to Bethlehem to show that God has forgiven man and we can re-enter the Garden of Eden, but Satan and Cain have different ideas. The Prophets will be dispatched to keep Abel alive. The first line of the movie will be Cain asking Abel, “You think you’re better than me?” Action will ensue.