Wednesday, December 12, 2007

This Just In...

North Florida has second-highest number of crack dealers in the nation eligible for reduced prison sentences. Scoreboard New York and Los Angeles. There are about 30 million people in metro New York and almost as many in SoCal, but tha 'Ville is ahead of at least one of you metropolises (metropoli?) when it comes to releasing drug dealers onto the streets due to racist sentencing guidelines. Yeah Big Apple, you kill more unarmed minorities than we do, but that's because no one down here is unarmed. There was a CSI: Miami on Monday about a gun called "The Vaporizer" that shoots 100,000 rounds per minute. I have two of 'em in my truck - just in case.

Taser Used On Parent at Ed White. The Taser has to be cops' favorite gadget since the advent of the siren. They don't have to take any crap anymore. There used to be a huge gulf where diplomacy lay between a cop having to risk going hand-to-hand and shooting someone. Now cops can zap people willy-nilly and only two out of every hundred will go into cardiac arrest. I'm a little disappointed that this didn't happen at another Jacksonville high school, Nathan B. Forrest Senior High School. Forrest Gump was named after him.

Would-be Robbers Strike Out Twice at Jacksonville Restaurant. How is it that these two jackasses didn't get tasered by the police. I love Law & Order: Criminal Intent's major case squad, but I want to see Law & Order: Re-Tard. In Jacksonville's war on crime, the dumbest criminal offenders are filmed and ridiculed mercilessly by the detectives of the You've-got-to-be-kidding-me squad. These are their stories. CHUNG-CHUNG. It would star Samuel L. Jackson and Billy Bob Thornton. The Captain would be Chelsea Handler. The Assistant State Attorney would be Don Cheadle doing the cockney he does in the Ocean's # movies. Eddie Izzard would be the transvestite vice cop. The show would be pricey but it would be worth it.

On the other hand it was 85 degrees here today, December 12.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

The Times-Union headlines generate a different type of post than when you read the New York Times.

Tasers and parents...interesting conference strategy.

Thorough post: links and everything.

DiaBelo said...

Can't believe the 'ville hasn't renamed its grand wizard memorial high schools yet. Hello, it's the 21st century. I get SO MUCH shit in Boston for this (probably the most racist city in the North).

JSG said...

Thanks, LJ. I prefer to live in ignorant bliss. Without reading the TU or listening to local talk radio, I can sustain the falsehood that I live in a city comprised with people of intellect (or at least a full set of teeth).
Once in a while I get a smack of the reality.