Just Spitballin'

I’ve got an idea for a screenplay, and I’m going to write it down here before I forget it. Just so everyone knows, I didn’t make it to the gym today and I’ve had a lot of caffeine. I got part of this idea from a local attorney, Kenny Leigh (pronounced Lay). He runs commercials on the big sports talk radio station in Jacksonville. He only handles family law and he only accepts male clients. I also got part of this idea from the Jules and Vincent scenes in Pulp Fiction. Hitmen have to talk about something, and they have interests and hopes and dreams just like everyone else. I also like Tarantino’s ultra-violence. But I plan to turn it upside down. My story is about two tiny chick hitwomen – Jada Pinkett, Jodie Foster, Haden Panetierre, Kristen Bell, etc. If you stand one of these chicks on the other’s shoulders, we’re not getting ten feet in the air. They’re hired assassins, or more precisely, they’re assassins on retainer. They work for a high powered woman attorney, who only handles family law and only has female clients. Sometimes she has to play hardball, and make her clients widows instead of divorcees, depending on how the numbers come out. The story is going to be centered on the exploits of these two female killers doing what they do best. I don’t have names for them yet, but I do know they use shotguns. I haven’t decided on whether or not the head honcha will be small or not. Right now I see Glen Close, even though she always plays that role. Meryl Streep is overkill. Julia Roberts might work. I want the killers small because their victims are going to be large – Dwayne Johnson, Vin Diesel, Will Smith, Liam Neeson – and the juxtaposition will create an interesting visual. There won’t be any real depth to the characters. It’s like Law & Order; you don’t need a back story. It’s just a day in the life.