Soccer Fan May Never Make Fun of Professional Wrestling.

I’m sitting here listening to some chick read PowerPoint slides to me. Lincoln Financial Group is not immune from the woes of the economy. People have been laid off and now I have to do more of my own official record keeping. This isn’t going to work out. I know my compliance officer is curled up in the fetal position with a bottle of peppermint schnapps somewhere because she knows every one of the 150 or so of us that she’s responsible for are going to blow this off and ask her how to do it personally as soon as we need it. This could be avoided by not reading PowerPoint slides to me over the telephone while I’m supposed to be following along on my computer. I’d also be more inclined to pay attention if I didn’t know for an absolute certainty that these procedures are going to change by the end of the week at the latest. I’m watching soccer players fake injuries on YouTube. I hate soccer. It’s the worst sport ever. Other than faking an injury to get a free kick, what strategy is there? If all the goals from free kicks, including corner kicks, were taken away, there would be fewer than ten goals scored a year in the entirety of the world’s most popular sport. Aren’t these guys embarrassed that for all their hard work and “skill” the sport is reduced to rolling around on the ground like you’ve been shot. Seriously, these guys get carted off on stretchers only to reenter the game a minute later. They make two paramedics run out onto the field, pick their Susan Lucci wannabe asses up off the ground, and carry them to the sideline. And the very worst part is that it works – a lot. Referees award free kicks, hand out cards, and kick people out of the game if the “injured” players performance is good enough. I’m surprised they haven’t figured out a way to work in some fake blood.