The NBA Is FANNN-TASTIC

I don’t know if I’m going through a mid-life crisis or having a stroke, but I’m really excited about the upcoming NBA season. I haven’t been into the NBA since I was in college, and that was during Michael Jordan’s prime. I don’t know if I’m into it for the game or the soap opera. Back in the day, players would get coked up, spread some STD’s, and then put on a happy face for the television cameras. They’re still doing that, although weed seems to have replaced cocaine, but now thanks to every knucklehead in the world having a camera in his phone and a blog, we’re getting to see all the off the court stuff. Delonte West, my favorite player with a tattoo on his neck, was arrested riding a motorcycle with guitar case full of weapons. He was off his meds – literally. No, not weed but Paxil or Prozac or lithium or Thorozine. Lamar Odom seemed to be making a huge mistake when it was announced that he was marrying one of the Kardashians. They had known each other for three months. He makes $12 million a year. If a Kardashian is caught in the moonlight GOLDDIGGER shows up written across their foreheads in big bold letters. They went to the Paris Hilton School of publicity whoring, but they didn’t inherit a hotel fortune so they have to “work” for a living. Odom moved up my favorite player list by demanding suggesting a prenuptial agreement. This all happened in August. For some reason the happy couple hasn’t tied the knot. Dirk Nowitzki, my favorite seven foot German player with a bad haircut, was engaged to a woman named Chrystal who was arrested for fraud, and I’ll just let the Dallas Morning News expand on how the relationship was going.

The German (Nowitzki) hired a private investigator to check into (Crystal) Taylor's background and the gumshoe found that she had used at least eight different aliases in the past including Chrystal Ann Taylor, Crystal Ann Taylor, Crystal Ann Santiago and Crista A. Westerhays.

We haven’t even gotten to Kobe, LeBron, and Shaq. This season is gonna be awesome.