Sometimes Stupidity Is Funny In The Morning

I didn’t have a chance to eat breakfast this morning before I left for work so I stopped at Publix for a Met-Rx bar – lots of protein, lots of fiber, just what a growing boy needs. Since it was before 8am only the two express lanes and one full service lane were open, and both of the express lanes were occupied by people who don’t seem to understand the English definition of “express”. The full service lane had a lady who, I guess, was taking full advantage of the new sales items. She had a cart jam packed with stuff. The store hadn’t been open for forty-five minutes, yet here she was with two hours worth of grocery shopping in her cart. I’m only mentioning this because I was impressed. I wasn’t impressed, at all, with the people taking up the express lane with more than ten items. One lady had twenty items, minimum, if she had a pack of gum. Instead of stabbing people yelling at these people about clear signage and the absolute universal definition of ten, I acted like a good citizen and went to the customer service desk. There was one person ahead of me buying lottery tickets – plural. I’m always amazed at people trying to work the lottery scratch off system. Anyway, I was standing there looking at the Powerball display and wondering how much the jackpot was for Saturday - $31 million. I had the same reaction most Americans have. $31 million, that’s not even worth my time. I paid for my protein bar, walked out of the store, and then it hit me. I couldn’t be bothered to spend $5 and say, “5 Powerball quickpicks, please,” because that’s too much effort for $31 million. After taxes I’d be lucky to clear $15 million. I didn’t skip the lottery because I had a 1 in 57 million chance of winning, 1 in 11.5 million if I spent $5. I skipped it because $15 million in my pocket wasn’t enough. I would have to choose either the mansion on the beach OR the yacht, and I can’t live my life like that. I’m not going to compromise. That’s called intergrity.