Out With The Old, In With The New

I got the ceiling fan up without electrocuting myself, which isn’t really a big deal. I turned the power off at the breaker. I got the ceiling fan up without stabbing anyone in the neck with a screwdriver, which is a big deal. I’m short tempered and caustic when I try to put things together with crappy directions, and since I never have a reference point for any of this stuff, crappy directions are the only kind. It’s not just home projects and it’s not just me. Without a point of reference even the simplest tasks are almost impossible. My favorite jiu-jitsu wizard, Eddie Bravo, likes to use the example of tying one’s shoes and how ridiculously complicated the movements are, but after countless repetitions the hands do it without thought, from only muscle memory. That's really the only way to learn anything brand new. I’m all philosophical about it now that I’ve finished putting up the ceiling fan. I have a point of reference, actually, I have two. I have the reference point of the new one I just finished hanging, and I also have the reference point of the old one I took down. MJ has two other fans she wants replaced, and I think I can cut my total assembly time by seventy-five percent. That’s not impressive. It took me six or seven hours to get this thing up and running. I now have a basic conceptual understanding of how these things go, so while there will be cursing, there won’t be a need for a sniper with a dart filled with Thorazine in case I go berserk. This is all based on the assumption that all of the pieces that are supposed to be in the fan kit are in the fan kit. I’m not feeling quite as unprepared for the Apocalypse as I was yesterday, but I still need to learn some carpentry, some basic plumbing, and most importantly, I still need to learn how to hunt, fish, and farm.