All Good Things...

It wasn’t even 8am this morning and I was already in trouble. I was sitting at my computer watching porn placing some offshore bets getting reading for the day while LMJ and Grammy were enjoying their oatmeal and watching a podcast, when out of nowhere the baby girl blurted “DAMMIT!” For some reason Grammy looked at me. I don’t know why. I wasn't the one cursing at the breakfast table. I have no idea where LMJ would have heard such vulgarity. I can only imagine it was one of those HGTV home improvement shows or one of those East Coast Liberal Children’s Television Workshop shows she watches. If she had said “FIDDLESTICKS” or “GREAT CAESAR’S GHOST” I’d be ready to take full responsibility for the harshness of her parlance. I readily admit to using those somewhat off color terms when I get frustrated and it may be possible that she was in earshot once or twice, but to randomly ask for the consignment of something into perdition, that’s just not me. Then the baby girl said it again, and Grammy was still looking at me, shocked. We were clearly past the point of “Hey can you believe that interception Brett Favre threw?” having any chance of distracting anyone, so I went with “What did you say, Sweetie Pie?” LMJ is really cute when she says “You can’t understand me,” but it didn’t help. The toothpaste was out of the tube. The turd was sitting on the plate glass. I’m just not as cool under fire as Rod Blagojevich. In my defense, it took her two years, eight months, and fourteen days to utter her first cussword, and it was a mild PG cussword. That’s a bona fide miracle. I swear like Bruce Lee kung fu’ed. It’s next level. I’ve never used the F word around her (miracle). I’ve been hungry and tired while getting my driving coached up and I haven’t taken the Lord’s name in vain in front of her. While I would have liked to have had the streak continue, I’m chalking this up as a win and as an opportunity to start a new streak. Big Ups to me.