A New Era Of Impudence

MJ’s post has inspired me to make fun of my daughter. She’s going through a defiant phase and it’s inspired some funny phrases that MJ wrote about. There was a full on Morrissey episode earlier this week that I would have written about, but it came too late in the day as I had already posted. I don’t remember exactly what the situation was but it was late in the afternoon, the curtains were drawn, she was still in her pajamas, she was crying about something, and saying she liked being sad and didn’t want to stop crying. Since there are no more after school specials – or all after school specials, depending on how one feels about Oprah and Dr. Phil – I guess this story is going to have to be told on Lifetime. I have no idea who’s going to play LMJ in “My Two Year Old is Depressed”, but if they won’t let me play me then I think Idris Elba would do a good job. MJ will be played by Alison Brie, and since we’re in a fantasy world, I’ll have a computer that works. It was very hard for me not to laugh at the little girl in the pink fairy pajamas and pink booty slippers wandering into the kitchen crying about how being sad made her happy, and wanting drown her sorrows in rice crispies and milk. We also had a funny moment in the van today. We had just gotten home from Publix, and I was trying to get her out of the van. She wanted to play in the van. She had been begging for some chicken nuggets for about three hours, including the ¾ mile trip home, so I told her she wasn’t going to have any chicken nuggets unless she got out of the van. She flashed a look that was her mother and said, “Yes, my am”. She said it very matter of fact like she could conjure some up right there in the glove compartment. The only thing that made it funny and didn’t lead to baby’s first beating is that she got out of the van without another word.