Monday, March 15, 2010

Non Sequiturs For Christ

When Jesus stepped inside the cage of life to take on the cross, human legs did not kicked his out from under him. It was not human hands that broke his arm during the arm bar of adversity. It was not a human fist that knocked him to the mat for our sins. It was not a human that kept him inside the triangle choke of suffering. It was not the fighter’s sent by Satan to tap him out that beat him.

God gave him strength while on his back being pounded in the face by the elbows of sin. Those same hands that formed the universe.

This made the early part of my day. After getting to work before the sun came up, I was dragging more than a little bit. I found myself staring out the window with my brain not working, and decided to take a break. One of the blogs I read put together his list of top 10 UFC sponsors that make him embarrassed to be an MMA fan. He has a problem with the low brow advertising towards what he feels is a high brow audience. I don’t know how high brow the MMA audience is, me included, since the basic premise of the sport is that there aren’t very many rules and the rules that do exist are only there so it won’t be illegal to show it on television. F**kin liberals. Anyway, the above quote is taken verbatim from number three on the list, a company named Jesus Didn’t Tap. I guess Jesus didn’t grammar check either. This is a real company. It’s not an internet hoax or skit. They sell a lot of crap too. I see retards people at the gym wearing their t-shirts. “The arm bar of adversity” made me chuckle. “The triangle choke of suffering” had me squealing like a dolphin as I tried not to disturb my coworkers and have them wondering what I was doing. I’m sure a few of them would have been offended because I’m sure a few of them wear Jesus Didn’t Tap stuff. Who the hell saw this “paragraph” and thought it was a good idea? Grammar issues aside, what does it mean? I’m not a theologian or a biblical scholar, but I’m pretty sure Jesus was executed. I don’t think he lost a fight. God gave him strength while on his back being pounded in the face by the elbows of sin. Those same hands that formed the universe. What is a non sequitur, Alex?

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