Saving Lives Everyday

One of my favorite things to do at Disney is watch Euros. Like Vincent Vega said it’s the little differences. They’re the same as Americans but instead of Florida Gator or Boston Red Sox jerseys it’s Manchester United or Real Madrid. Instead of Nikes and Reeboks it’s Lottos and Adidas. Instead of a healthy respect for the harmful rays of the sun it’s a stiff – and rapidly blistering – upper lip. This never ceases to amaze me. When I’m at Disney I wear the strongest sun tan lotion available because I know I’m going to be in direct sunlight, walking on concrete, which for ultraviolet light purposes might as well be a mirror, for a minimum of three hours at a time. It used to be SPF 30 and now that, ironically enough, the Euro stuff is available, I wear SPF 50 or 70. I’m black. Trevor and Marge are translucent. Nicole Kidman thinks they’re a little bit pale. Their hair looks like fiber optics lines. There should be an iPhone application called Melanoma Watch, because the sun beats them like they owe it money. There could be a color coded scale that shows a Euro who forgot to put on sun block as a forecast of what happens to alabaster skin after three hours in the Florida sun. It’s not a big deal in February, have fun. It’s a huge deal in August, you’ll have skin cancer before Manuel from Bayamón, Puerto Rico is done checking your European carry-all – or as they know it, a carry-all. Unfortunately, they traveled between three and five thousand miles, and they’ll be damned if they’re not going get a picture with Mickey, Minnie, Donald, Daisy, Goofy, Pluto, and one with all of them together in front of Cinderella’s castle. EG should sell Disney his sun block sprayer idea – you’d be rich, E. There could be a sensor twenty feet from each hotel door that analyzes pigment and applies the appropriate level of Coppertone. There would also be one at the ticket gate of each park. I’m just trying to do my part.