This was a very interesting sports weekend. Tiger Woods choked away a two stroke lead on the final eighteen holes of the PGA. Usain Bolt ran a ridiculous 9.58 in the 100m. And Chritiane “Cyborg” Santos beat the hell out Gina Carano. This was the first time Tiger Woods didn’t close the deal in a major championship with a 54 hole lead. A guy named Y.E. Yang beat him. I have no idea who that is at this point. Maybe he’ll be the guy that golf has been looking for for more than a decade to consistently challenge Eldrick. I didn’t see any of this happen for a number of reasons: it’s golf and I’m heterosexual, football was on, even if it was a repeat of a preseason game played on Wednesday, and I went to the beach.
Usain Bolt ran a 9.58 100m. You remember him. He’s the one who showboated his way to Olympic gold in the same event last summer. This time he put some effort into the race. Just for the lulz I guess. I didn’t think that was possible for a human. I didn’t think that was possible for anything on two legs: kangaroo, roadrunner, ostrich, velociraptor. To put how fast he ran in perspective, he ran from the goal line of a football field through the back of the end zone at the other end of the field in 9.58 seconds. His top speed is close to 30mph. Try to ride a bike that fast – down a hill.
Cyborg Santos pummeled Gina Carano into submission Saturday for the title of best woman fighter in the world. I’ve always been an MMA fan and never a fan of a particular fighter. This was the first time that I can remember that I really picked sides. The only reason I picked sides is because Gina Carano is hot and smart and funny and could kill me in about 1000 different ways with her bare hands, while Cyborg is smart and funny and could kill me in about 1001 different ways but she was created in some pit in Mordor. I tried to deny my sexism but I couldn’t do it. Oh well, there’s always the rematch.
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