What Do You Tell A Woman With Two Black Eyes?

I’m calling today Domestic Violence Monday. I don’t know if it’s an especially festive holiday, but they can’t all be winners. MJ had a student show up with a busted lip this morning, allegedly jacked in the jaw for talking back to her mother. The orange county sheriff’s department supposedly has an open domestic violence investigation regarding the Woods. And the possible wife beater down the street may have put his wife in the hospital.

A girl showed up in MJ’s class this morning and asked for a paper towel and some water. When MJ turned around to tell her where they were, she noticed the youngster had been tagged in the teeth and was bleeding. MJ asked what happened and the girl told her that her mom had done it but that it was okay because she had sassed her mother. It seems the girl was brought up in a Christian home since she’s familiar with teachings of Proverbs 25:25, “Don’t talk s**t and you won’t get your ass whipped”. MJ followed protocol and notified whoever it was she was supposed to notify, which turned out to involve a lot more office politics than I would have expected.

Word round the campfire is that the Orange County po-po’s aren’t buying the story that Elin and Eldrick gave them about what happened on Thanksgiving. I don’t mean to make light of domestic violence. It’s wrong under any circumstances. Except when it’s a 5’7” 110lb woman – that’s factoring in the baby weight she still hasn’t lost – beating the hell out of a 6’2” 195lb man, then it’s funny. Then it’s Benny Hill minus the Yackety Sax. I don’t want to hear about Ambien or golf clubs or anything else. If MJ came at me with a golf club I’d tell her to put the 3-iron down and pick up the driver. I’d treat her like Rocky treated Clubber Lang. Every time she hit me I’d say, “Come on! You ain’t so bad!”

I was rounding up my baby girl to start the bedtime routine when we saw a fire truck and an ambulance drive by. They stopped at the wife beater’s house a couple of doors down. I wrote about him two years ago. While I was changing LMJ into her jammies.  MJ was looking out the window to see what was happening. She says the police showed up and someone was carted out on a stretcher. Unfortunately, she was changing for bed so we missed all the scuttlebutt outside with the neighbors. I’m not worried though. I can catch up on all the scoop with Sean and Anita tomorrow.

A little bit of a weird day.