Another Saturday, Another Swim Lesson.

Today’s swim lesson was just like the last two in that we all got wet, but that’s where the similarities end. Today we had an instructor who was, um what’s the word I’m looking for – trained. I guess she was a bit of an overachiever. She had prepared to teach the class. She had a professional demeanor, which is hard to pull off in a swimsuit. She knew all the words to the songs. I don’t know if she was trying to show up Cory or not, but her “actually having a clue about teaching toddlers to swim and showing up on time” came off as a little bit petty. As soon as I saw Connie in the pool, that’s our instructor’s name, I knew MJ was thinking, “ARE YOU F**KING KIDDING ME!?!” And I was right, and it only got worse as the lesson got better. She got angrier and angrier at the YMCA for the past three crappy lessons: the first one they canceled after taking everyone’s money, the second one with the dumbass, and the third one where no YMCA employees showed up, which is our second favorite lesson after today. Connie is in her fifties I would guess. I think she looks a little bit like John Kerry. She introduced herself as soon as we got in the pool. She took LMJ and showed us how to hold her in the water correctly. She understood that there’s a big difference between a two year old and a one year old, and tailored her instruction for each little kid. She reminded us that kids shudder a little bit when we put them in the water because the water is frickin’ cold and we react the exact same way. MJ is going to write a letter to the Y letting them know how much the first lessons sucked, and that it’s managements fault for forcing a kid, Cory, to do something he wasn’t trained to do. Like I said last week, if these lessons were a perk for being a Y member this wouldn’t be a big deal, but they charged a fine dining price and gave us a fast food fry guy. We had a blast this morning and we’re really looking forward to next week’s lesson – if only to see which instructor shows up.