Dude… oh dude, I totally flaked, man. That’s my bad. Handle this for me Broseph and I’ll totally get you back.
That’s the way I imagine the other side of the conversation the lifeguard at the YMCA had with each and every one of the swim instructors he called this morning because a grand total of zero of them showed up to teach one and two year olds how to swim. MJ isn’t as phlegmatic about this as I am. She’s having a kind of "rolling her eyes because she half expected this" reaction. It’s because she’s never been a guy at all, let alone a slacker in his late teens and early twenties. Me, I am that guy. I’m a recovering slackaholic. We’re like ex-smokers that are honest with themselves and we don’t pretend that blowing off work for no good reason isn't the greatest feeling ever. So I’m reserving judgment until I have more information. MJ doesn’t care why the instructor(s) didn’t show up this morning. They didn’t show up, and they were supposed to – end of story. I’m willing to be understanding if they had a good reason. Unfortunately, as I get older, the list of good reasons is shrinking. I was soooooo wasted and couldn’t make it is no longer on the list. It was up until about 1995. It makes me a little sad, but your intoxication isn’t worth as much to me as my time. Nowadays, the worst reason that’s still acceptable hinges on certain buzzwords, including as many of these as possible: cheerleaders (plural), gymnast, local T.V. news anchor, Jaguars/Gators coach’s daughter, big ass, and video. It’s just like trying to get a job interview through Monster.com. Some guy rules are sacrosanct, and the only exceptions to the rules are fathers, hence the police baton. I don’t expect the swim instructors to have a good excuse, and if MJ, LMJ, or I had actually wanted to be there this morning this would have been a bigger problem, but instead we splashed around and LMJ gave orders while not really participating and then we went home. I think that’s the way all of the other parents in the group felt as well since doofus didn’t do much last week anyway.
Just for the record, the swim lessons were supposed to start three weeks ago, but the first week was cancelled by the Y so they could have some stupid admin meeting – it’s the frickin’ Y. Last week we sung songs led by a retard instructor who didn’t really know the words. And this week nobody showed up. If the Y offered these lessons as part of the regular membership this would all be fun and games, but they charge a ridiculous additional fee on top of the ridiculous monthly fee that runs between two and four times the rate of other gyms in the area.
I shouldn’t have thought about all that. Now the good reason buzzwords are down to Kelly Ripa, Sarah Palin, Industrial Light and Magic, and Steven Spielberg.
That’s the way I imagine the other side of the conversation the lifeguard at the YMCA had with each and every one of the swim instructors he called this morning because a grand total of zero of them showed up to teach one and two year olds how to swim. MJ isn’t as phlegmatic about this as I am. She’s having a kind of "rolling her eyes because she half expected this" reaction. It’s because she’s never been a guy at all, let alone a slacker in his late teens and early twenties. Me, I am that guy. I’m a recovering slackaholic. We’re like ex-smokers that are honest with themselves and we don’t pretend that blowing off work for no good reason isn't the greatest feeling ever. So I’m reserving judgment until I have more information. MJ doesn’t care why the instructor(s) didn’t show up this morning. They didn’t show up, and they were supposed to – end of story. I’m willing to be understanding if they had a good reason. Unfortunately, as I get older, the list of good reasons is shrinking. I was soooooo wasted and couldn’t make it is no longer on the list. It was up until about 1995. It makes me a little sad, but your intoxication isn’t worth as much to me as my time. Nowadays, the worst reason that’s still acceptable hinges on certain buzzwords, including as many of these as possible: cheerleaders (plural), gymnast, local T.V. news anchor, Jaguars/Gators coach’s daughter, big ass, and video. It’s just like trying to get a job interview through Monster.com. Some guy rules are sacrosanct, and the only exceptions to the rules are fathers, hence the police baton. I don’t expect the swim instructors to have a good excuse, and if MJ, LMJ, or I had actually wanted to be there this morning this would have been a bigger problem, but instead we splashed around and LMJ gave orders while not really participating and then we went home. I think that’s the way all of the other parents in the group felt as well since doofus didn’t do much last week anyway.
Just for the record, the swim lessons were supposed to start three weeks ago, but the first week was cancelled by the Y so they could have some stupid admin meeting – it’s the frickin’ Y. Last week we sung songs led by a retard instructor who didn’t really know the words. And this week nobody showed up. If the Y offered these lessons as part of the regular membership this would all be fun and games, but they charge a ridiculous additional fee on top of the ridiculous monthly fee that runs between two and four times the rate of other gyms in the area.
I shouldn’t have thought about all that. Now the good reason buzzwords are down to Kelly Ripa, Sarah Palin, Industrial Light and Magic, and Steven Spielberg.
3 comments:
The extra fee is really the only aprt that gets to me. The lessons should be drop-in when you like for members. You know, like it is for the instructors.
Another good reason word: Fungus.
Now mightn't you be glad they dissed the class?
Well, you could always give LMJ swim lessons yourself. It would kill 2 birds with one stone. 1. you would always have an instructor. 2. you wouldn't have to worry about the extra fee on top of your membership.
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