Mary Poppins Tuesday

We can stop with the rain anytime now. It’s getting old. It's getting boring. Actually, it’s not getting boring. My day was creeping along as an average, run of the mill Tuesday. I went to work. I made some copies for MJ. I did some work. I got frustrated that Lincoln has some kind of firewall that won’t let me place off-shore bets online, and I don’t know how to get around it. I read an article in the New York Times about banks bringing back annual fees and reducing the rewards programs for their credit cards because the government is going to make them stop acting like the mob when it comes to late fees and interest rates. I guess they don’t realize that outside of weird household emergencies people don’t need credit cards anymore. I read some e-mail from some economist bragging about how he’s done nothing over the last eighteen months and how he has no idea about what’s coming in the next eighteen months. Personally, I think Lincoln should fire him and dump his seven figure salary back into the commission pool, but then people would say I’m selfish. Then I pulled into my driveway and saw my lawn table umbrella on top of my garage. We’ve had windy days before but never any spontaneous yard furniture flight. It was like I was living in Nebraska. Because I’m stupid, I didn’t take any pictures of it. It’s a frackin’ huge umbrella. CG has this industrial sized tree pruning tool that we used to tear a hole in the umbrella, and nearly sever one of CG’s fingers, before we were able to pull it back into our yard safely. We were worried that it was going to fall into our lesbian neighbors’ yard and break a window or two in their garage apartment on the way down. If that had happened this story wouldn’t have ended well. There would have been issues about honor, which would have led to revenge, which would have led to blood oaths and batleths and possible interstellar war. Hold on, I got confused. They’re lesbians, not Klingons. Am I the only one who gets those two groups mixed up?