I Don't Get It

I was reading JSG’s comment on yesterday’s post when I had a laugh out loud moment. JSG tried to explain musical modes with the sentence, “Modes equal key signatures with scales”. I thought, “You mean like Yale or Kwickset? I don’t get it.” The “I don’t get it” is what made me laugh. I remember all throughout school that was the phrase that caused teachers the most serenity now moments. I never said it because I usually wasn’t paying attention to what was being taught anyway, but dumb and lazy kids used it as a crutch. Teachers always had a calming technique they ran through before responding: swallow anger, don’t use profanity, don’t call him/her names, re-swallow regurgitated anger, smile. What the fffff…what don’t you get? The kid’s answer was usually “the whole thing”. They didn’t get the whole “math” thing or the whole “language” thing. These kids went on to not get the whole “#1 with a coke” thing. One of them went on to not get the whole “President of the United States” thing for eight years. Then he was socially promoted, and now he can spend the rest of his life doing “honey do’s”. See, social promotion does work. I have to give teachers credit because I can’t remember one ever reacting naturally. I can’t remember a flash of anger or biting sarcasm that was over the dumb kid’s head. My mom is very good at calling people stupid without them knowing they’re being called stupid. It’s funny when it happens to loudmouthed adults. It’s funny when it happens to kids too, but it’s also kind of sad. We all have I don’t get it moments. They usually come when we don’t care about the subject. MJ gets them when I force her to listen to me about MMA or modern portfolio theory. I get them when she is telling me about the exact art and subtle science of picking a bathing suit or color of paint. LMJ (happy birthday) gets them when we won’t turn on Pooh immediately. What made my “I don’t get it” this morning funny is that I do care about modes. I just didn’t care at that moment because the coffee wasn’t ready and I didn’t have the mental energy to think about it. Her comment could have been “These are the winning Power Ball numbers for tonight” and I still would have been focused on why it takes so GD long for some coffee to brew. I don’t get it.