Dollar Dollar Bills Y'all

Cora Spondence wrote yesterday about organizing her clothes by color and wearing schedule. While I’ve never done that, I have organized my one dollar bills by the federal bank from whence they were issued and serial number. I was working for my dad about twelve years ago, and he used to pay me in cash. I never felt like going to the bank so I just rolled like a drug dealer or a pimp. Side note: when I was a teen my buddy Dave and I would cash our crap job checks and drive around holding our eighty dollar wads out the window while blaring Eric B. and Rakim’s Paid in Full – good times. Since I never went to the bank I figured a good way to save money would be not to spend one dollar bills. If something cost eighty-five cents I’d pay with a five. If something cost five dollars and one cent I wasn’t giving up exact change to make a clerk’s life easy. Give me back my four dollars and ninety-nine cents. It’s a really good way to save – we won’t get into the zero growth. After about a month I had a stack of more than two hundred dollars in ones. I would have been set if I was into strip clubs, but I’m not. I went to one once. The hooker young lady I’m sure was just dancing on tables to put herself through law school, but at 4am when the club closed she wasn’t interested in coming back to a hotel room with four guys she just met in a strip club. Getting shot down by a stripper and seven dollar mandatory Miller Lites and the nine dollar cover charge and having to wear a shirt with a collar, you know, to keep the riff raff out, forced me to rate strip clubs as giant wastes of time and money. Anyway, I had a whole bunch of one dollar bills organized by federal bank and serial number, more than five hundred when I finally deposited them – the teller was thrilled – then I got a check card and the method just hasn’t worked since.