Heghlu'meH QaQ jajvam (Today Is A Good Day To Die)

JSG and EJG have a ½ marathon coming up in a few days. JSG wrote a post about how she’s looking forward to finishing because she’s never run that far. She writes about enjoying running. I wish I felt that way, but that feeling died with me the instant I crossed the finish line of the River Run last year. Then a day or two later when the times were posted I saw that a guy I knew from high school finished in just under an hour, so I set the completely unrealistic goal of beating his time for the 2008 race. This attitude has dissolved any kind of joy I get from races, which is probably why I haven’t been running as many. For example, today after I finished my weight routine, which burns about eight hundred calories in twenty minutes, I ran three miles in under thirty minutes. This is the best I’ve done since becoming a Gym Jones disciple, but when I finished I was pissed because it took me more than twenty-five minutes. It hurt the whole time. I found myself thinking fitness clichés like, pain is just weakness leaving the body. I walked a half a mile to cool down, but my heart rate wouldn’t drop. I honestly thought that I had overdone it this time. Then I decided to stop being a euphemism generally reserved for the female genitalia and take some deep breaths in through the nose and out through the mouth. I have an uncle who finishes the Ironman Triathlon. I ran three miles in twenty-eight minutes and change. I hadn’t done anything special. After seven deep breaths my heart was fine. I felt exhilarated. I’d earned a protein bar. If you don’t have a near death experience then it’s not really a workout. I stretched, drank some water, and drove home. Tomorrow is leg day.