Stop, Just Stop, You Suck

One of the great things about the internet is that anyone can dump anything onto it. Information has never been freer. At the same time however, one of the horrible things about the internet is that anyone can dump anything onto it – hence the birth of amateur porn. I have a buddy I went to high school with who threw a video of his garage band onto Facebook playing Jimi Hendrix’s Red House. It was recorded on someone’s handheld video camera. It wasn’t ready for publication. Everything that one would think was wrong with this is wrong with this. I “play” guitar, and by play I mean I own one. I used to be able to struggle through most Metallica, even through the weird key changes and time changes, but that’s all math, which is why everybody plays Metallica. Hendrix’s Red House is a simple blues; it’s all soul. What sets it apart is the man himself. Songs like this should carry the “don’t try this at home” disclaimer. Eric Clapton would hesitate to cover this song. Stevie Ray Vaughn never covered this song. But an IT doofus with a garage and a Stratocaster figured he has what it takes. I don’t mind him playing it, even in front of people. It was a barbecue and he was serving free food. Just don’t throw it up on the internet. There has to be a mental checkpoint before exposing your horrible playing and worse singing to the whole world. Yes, Hendrix is universally cool. You playing Hendrix is not. I know all the words to the Star Spangled Banner, but there’s no video of me frightening babies singing, “AND THE LAAAND OF THE FREEEE” because I understand that what sounds good in my head doesn’t necessarily sound good to, you know…other people. The problem is that dude thinks it’s great. He put it on the web because he thinks he’s can play. “Look at me. I rock.” Where are his local friends whose job it is to mock him until he bleeds? I can’t do everything.