That's Not A Moon. It's A Fat Guy Running

I stepped on the scale today and was not happy with the numbers that came up. So I threw on my Swoops and took off on a run. I may have mentioned that I’m throwing myself into my job, and in doing so, I haven’t had time to workout. I had to cut my workout short yesterday because of a meeting, and I didn’t even schedule one today for the same reason. On the one hand LMJ is not going to have to worry as much about the community college she chooses, but on the other hand I don’t want to have to be the first contestant on The Biggest Loser who’s a complete jackass. Just because I’m a vomitous blob doesn’t mean I won’t make fun of the other food addicts. Women across the world will tell their husbands and boyfriends what a jerk I am, especially since I’m the fattest one on the show. The husbands and boyfriends will try their best to hide their laughter behind their beers. Anyway, I ran my normal 5.5 mile course this afternoon through Riverside towards downtown. A full two miles of it are along the St. Johns which makes it beautiful, but the stretch behind St. Vincent’s runs me through two smoking stations twice. The second time through is in the last half mile and makes me wish I carried a gun to speed up the smoker’s slow suicide. It would have to be a .22 or something small like that because I don’t want the extra weight. It’s awful running through the smokers. I swear I can smell them 200 yards away on my return run. It’s not so bad on the way out. On the way out I pity the fools (Mr. T). It’s partly my fault. If cheeseburgers weren’t my not so secret lover, I’d be closer to svelte. If cheeseburgers weren’t my not so secret lover, I wouldn’t be in so much pain right now – my feet and ankles are shot. But it’s January 6, and I still have a full two months to get ready for the River Run. I cruised at an easy pace that I could keep for another four miles, which would have me finishing the River Run in less than 100 minutes. I’m excited. I didn’t even mention the 1100 calories I burned.