Doom and Gloom

EJG is in the hospital recovering from brain surgery, it seems from lifting something heavy, and it may affect the way he lives the rest of his life. There are a couple of steps from moving some risers to getting holes drilled into his skull, but not nearly as many as one would hope. I think I would be able to better understand it if something had fallen on him, but no. He tweaked or torqued a little bit awkwardly and bam. Fate is feckless, at best. She’s mean spirited and capricious. He has life plans professionally, and more importantly, personally that may have to change because he was trying to get his classroom ready. He teaches music. He’s not a cop or a fireman. It makes me angry that life is so flimsy. This situation makes me think intelligent design is the pinnacle of arrogance. What kind of superior being would roll out this crappy model? Is Bill Gates God? It’s ironic that EJG didn’t “start up” correctly when they were done with the surgery so they “rebooted” him, and it worked. I don’t handle these things well. My basic response is “This is bullshit!” like they overcharged me at McDonalds. But that’s all my brain will process at this point. I know this is incredibly selfish, but I hope I go before MJ. I’ve tried to run through some rationalizations about how I’d cope if she died. I’ve been lucky enough to spend twenty happy years with her already and that’s twenty years more than most people get, but that’s all crap, which is why I try to cherish every moment I’m with her. I fail miserably. I surf the internet too much. I’m so glad that television is so bad. I’m glad that we are working hard at having fun more than we used to. The G’s work very hard at having fun, and at the end of the day I think it will help.