He Does If He's Black or Racism At The Quantum Level

I’m supposed to be doing work, but it’s boring work so I’m not doing it, and I’m finding different ways to procrastinate. Right now I’m pretending that I’m being productive by writing this while I wait for a return phone call. Yeah, I know. Slow down, I’m going to work myself into an early grave. Anyway a little while ago I was doing real work when I got sucked down an internet hole and found myself reading about the EPR Paradox, which is f**ked up and made my head explode twice. I’m going to try to keep this brief. The Einstein–Podolsky–Rosen paradox is a paper written by Albert Einstein and a couple of friends – just for the lulz. Its basic point is that quantum mechanics is full of fail, and goes on to explain why. The irony is that quantum mechanics is a direct result of Einstein’s theory of relativity, but he didn’t like it because it shows a probabilistic universe instead of a deterministic universe. He summed up his feelings with his famous quote, “God does not play dice with the universe.” The physics community responded with “scoreboard” quantum mechanics works, which ultimately prompted the paper. The EPR paradox doesn’t question the results of quantum mechanics; it questions its completeness, that there are hidden variables we don’t know about affecting the universe at the quantum level instead of the widely accepted notion of sometimes a particle will do one thing, sometimes it will do another thing, but we can’t tell which it will do until we watch what it does, and by watching what it does we lock that particular particle into that one thing. The EPR paradox says yeah but it also locks that particle’s anti-particle into doing the opposite thing even though it’s in a different place and we haven’t watched it, so how does the anti-particle know? It means that either the two particles are connected somehow or there are hidden variables. It gets worse. It talks about quantum superpostitions, which has to do with particles doing everything they’re capable of doing until someone looks at them and shuts down their fun. Then the paper collapses into some ridiculous math that I’m both glad and sad that I don’t understand. Is God playing dice with my brain?