All Bad Poetry Springs From Genuine Feeling

I had a really boring chest and biceps workout today so I’m going to write about a few movie quotes that I like.

I’m a mushroom cloud laying muthaf**ka, muthaf**ka! This is from Pulp Fiction, which is so full of great quotes it may be the only movie to make the list today. Jules says this to Vincent as they’re cleaning Marvin’s brains out of the backseat of Jules’s car. Jules is berating Vincent for shooting Marvin in the face when Vincent reaches his boiling point and tells Jules that “[He] could blow”. Jules barely takes a breath before uttering the above quote. It’s the second muthaf**ka that makes it great, and one of the few times that the Al Pacino/Chewbacca/Samuel L. Jackson method of screaming all one’s lines works.

Someplace warm. A place where the beer flows like wine. Where beautiful women instinctively flock like the salmon of Capistrano. I'm talking about a little place called Aspen. This is from Dumb & Dumber and it basically sums up the whole movie. It’s by far Jim Carrey’s best work. The Farrelly brothers just let him do his thing, and Jeff Daniels didn’t try to compete with him. This quote is Lloyd selling Harry on the idea of leaving Providence, Rhode Island and heading to Aspen, Colorado. There’s so much wrong with his little spiel, but it’s not what you say, it’s how you say it, and Lloyd sold it. I laughed harder at this movie than I did at anything not done by the Marx Brothers.

Consider that a divorce. This is from Total Recall and it’s Arnold’s best post-ending-someone’s-life-violently one liner. He can’t act, which is what makes him so great. And he’s been here for thirty-five years, why is his accent still so thick? He’d been brainwashed to believe that Sharon Stone was his wife, and then she tried to kill him and his Mexican hooker girlfriend, Melina. After dispatching Sharon’s henchmen, he gets the drop on her as she’s beating Melina’s ass. She says, “You wouldn’t kill me would you, Doug? We’re married.” He puts a bullet in her head and then drops the line. This was also right before Sharon Stone did Basic Instinct, became a star, and lost her mind. She looked her best and gave her best performance in Total Recall. It’s also Paul Verhoeven’s best movie. They need to redo this movie, along with Robocop, with new special effects.