I Might Want to Mix In Some Veggies at Some Point

I was going to write about the political stuff from all over the place coalescing in my mind, but I decided against it. Instead I’m going to drone on about my day. Today was a pretty good Friday. I wasn’t real happy about going into work, but a guy from ING brought Quiznos, and free sandwiches that someone else made are one of life’s great pleasures. I’ll listen politely to just about anything if I get a free food. “Yeah, the Holocaust was just a lie the Democrats cooked up to get Obama elected. Sure, why not? Is there another bacon and smoked turkey in that pile?” I came home after the lunch, and the family went to the duck pond to feed the fowl. We timed it almost perfectly. There were about four families with siblings and possibly cousins leaving right as we showed up. We pretty much had the entire park to ourselves, and I saw something I had never seen before. The ducks were full. They weren’t really interested in our stale bread and graham crackers. I’ve been going to this duck pond since 1981 and I’ve never seen them ignore food. Normally, they act like 45 pound piranha chasing the bread people throw in. And yes, they weigh at least 45 pounds, hollow bones and all. These ducks are morbidly obese. The only way these ducks could get off the ground is if Grumman and McDonnell-Douglas both got involved. Feeding the ducks wasn’t as exciting for LMJ since they’d already eaten, but at least the turtles got a turn. Then we ran around the park to the jungle gyms, following LMJ as she screamed, “Come on, guys!!!” over and over. She was really excited to be free. After the park we came home and I cooked knockwursts and sauerkraut. Sauerkraut is not an indoor food. The little light on the stove telling me it’s hot wasn’t even on before the kraut had stunk up the entire house. It was so bad, MJ complained. I put some kraut on a sausage, ate it, dumped the rest of it into a garbage bag, and took it downstairs. I guess this is something that has to be done once every five years or so – see you in 2014 Herr Sauerkraut. Strangely enough, after a day full of nitrates, vinegar, and cabbage, I don’t feel so well. Maybe I can go lie down with the ducks on their island.