Approaching Exasperation

It’s been a frustrating morning. Nothing works. A whole bunch of money was spent to make our home more efficient this summer. All we did was trade old problems for new ones. We “upgraded” our washer and dryer from old school, environmentally unfriendly, but got the clothes clean to new school, high efficiency, clothes go in dirty come out not quite as dirty. High efficiency is a lie. This was MJ’s project from the beginning, and if she’s anything she’s duly diligent. I know she read at least a billion reviews and comments about these things. Are people pretending to like these machines just so others will make the same mistake in a misery loves company kind of way, like getting married and having kids? The reason I’m upset is because the HE washer fails the common sense test. One of the stories I remember hearing growing up had to do with an aunt, AS, who got in trouble every night when she was growing up because she tried to wash the nightly dishes in a tablespoon of cold water – HE principles. She wasn’t fifty years ahead of her time, if she was, her mother wouldn’t have still been giving her crap twenty years after the fact – okay, bad example considering my grandmother, but my point is still valid. Washing involves water and suds. It just does. If scientists had really come up with a way to reduce soap and water without reducing cleaning, they would have won a Nobel Prize in chemistry. I don’t remember hearing about some Proctor and Gamble chemists winning anything, and it’s not like they would keep that quiet. It doesn’t matter how much water we save per load if our loads more than double (Loads (giggle,giggle) might want to lay off the taco bell then, amirite?) and our clothes still aren’t clean. We’re also not saving any money. We changed from electricity to gas, but we wash everything on cold so that’s irrelevant, and we’re using more water so we may be using less electricity but that savings is more than offset by the increased use of water. The money we wasted trying to do the right thing makes me want to buy a Styrofoam cooler, fill it with gasoline and Aqua Net hairspray, set it all on fire and throw it at a manatee.