Cooking On Thanksgiving

MJ mentioned that we should do Thanksgiving ourselves and give CG a day off. I didn’t think she was serious until she mentioned it to her mom, and her mom thought it was a good idea. Now I have to stay reasonably sober until dinner on Thursday. I had planned on drinking beer all day, just like the pilgrims at the first Thanksgiving. I’m worried about a couple of things since we’re rookies. I’m worried about the dressing because that’s my favorite part of the meal and it’s also one of the duties I pulled. I’m worried about the gravy that goes on my dressing, and everything else on my plate, because MJ’s never made a vat of it and is slightly fat phobic. I’m encouraged because we’re making a list segregating duties, MJ has Wednesday off, and since it’s not being sprung on me Thursday morning I’m dialed in. As a matter of fact, I’m getting a little cocky. The idea of renting a fryer and doing Thanksgiving like a good American is bouncing around in my head. We bought a fresh – not frozen – turkey so the chances of thermonuclear destruction are reduced. I would fry it outside. I don’t know if I would do it in the front yard or the back yard. The only reasons I can think of to do it in the back yard are to avoid embarrassment if I messed it up and to hide the amount of alcohol I consumed. If I did it in the front yard I would claim my rightful spot as king of the neighborhood – assuming anyone other than ourselves stays in town. I would survey my kingdom and look upon the other “men” who were not frying turkeys on their front lawns with scorn. People would address me as “Your Majesty”, but in old school Hannibal, Charles Martel, Rurik the Rus kind of way. Not in a Queen Elizabeth doesn’t really fry turkeys on her front lawn kind of way. I doubt turkey frying happens this Thanksgiving but it will happen soon.