Just Keep The Tiger Fed

Today was an inauspicious beginning to the holiday weekend. I didn’t sleep in but I didn’t get up early. I was off schedule for nothing before the sun was up. I had a little bit to do in my office today and it was hard getting out the door. I got home and MJ had to grade, CJ was trying to make a last trip to Publix, and I was on LMJ duty. The weather was crap today, which means we were stuck inside with no way to burn off some energy. Reading and Play-Doh don’t burn calories. I was hoping to get LMJ to take a mid-afternoon nap. She wasn’t and she didn’t. I had a plan of what I wanted to get accomplished today and her nap skipping threw a wrench into those works. I also forgot to eat, which lead to a melt down. I hate having my plans messed up, especially when they involve stuff that has to get done as opposed to stuff that doesn’t matter. I ran through the normal gamut of emotions that all tired hungry parents run through when things don’t go our way. I wished I had never been born. I wished she had never been born. I wished I had some gasoline and chain link so I could lock the doors and set the house on fire. Maybe dying in a torrent of fire would teach people not to mess with my laundry and baking time. MJ calls these “overreactions”. Whatever. I still think it’s all a master plan to drive me insane. Just because LMJ is two doesn’t mean she can’t scheme and plot. She does this stuff on purpose. She knows how much her nap skipping drives me up the wall. I’m not saying she’s trying to kill me but if you find my body don’t believe the suicide note. Strangely, I had a snack and I felt better. We had a family baking afternoon and made banana bread. LMJ was a huge help and we had a lot of fun. I’m like a diabetic with rabies, and I don’t think counseling can fix it.