No! You're The Abomination

It’s Thanksgiving, which is obvious today, but when I’m rereading this it’s only going to read November 26, 2009, and I’m writing about things I’m thankful for. I’m not going to write about being thankful for family, friends, health, and other assorted clichés that while absolutely true are also absolutely boring. I understand that I’m dining with three cancer survivors, and thinking of a brain hernia survivor, but those aren’t good dinner table topics – not until the third bottle of wine anyway. I’m thankful for the perfect – P-E-R-F-E-C-T – weather for running today. I ran three and a half miles at a leisurely pace. I’m not sure if “running” is even an appropriate term for what I did. I think sauntered might be better. My heart rate didn’t get above 130. There were more people out than I expected, but what else are they doing at noon on Thanksgiving. Football wasn’t on yet, and there’s only so much “You’re doing it wrong!!!” someone can take. Or is that unique to CJ and me? I’m thankful for the lady on the Today show this morning that let me know abortion isn’t a good topic for conversation with people I don’t know at the dinner table. She also said that Thanksgiving dinner isn’t the best time to come out of the closet. At first I thought “Duhh-eee”, but then I got sad. I’m sad because my parents aren’t bigots and a lot of these awkward conversations would never be awkward because they’re accepting loving people. What’s up with that? I never had my dad ask me what the hell I was doing bringing a White girl into his house. My sister brought home a member of the Tribe, and there was nary an uncomfortable moment. If a member of my family was gay and decided to come out at Thanksgiving there would be two responses. “No shit, pass the gravy” and “So, pass the gravy”. I’m thankful this lady inspired my new idea for a television show. It’s about a conservative (little C) Jewish family whose son comes out of the closet by bringing his anti-Semitic boyfriend home for the holidays. The dad and the boyfriend get into a screaming match over who’s the abomination before God. Hilarity ensues. Finally, I’m thankful that Thanksgiving went off without a hitch. We cooked. We cleaned. Everyone overate and had a good time, and we’ve got turkey and pumpernickel for the Panini tomorrow. I think we can call this a good day.