Lazy Post

I’m sitting in Starbucks writing this post like a yuppie, drinking my gay drink – decaf raspberry café Americano with a double shot of gay. MJ is working on stuff for school and interrupting my genius to tell me about her stupid students. They’re critiquing some interview Bill Gates did for the New Yorker in the early nineties. I guess it was the early nineties because the writer talks about wasting his money by sending an e-mail to Gates. The kids are stupid because Gates makes some pretty obvious jokes and they go right over MJ’s retards’ heads. I didn’t plan on writing about the future convicts she deals with every day. I came with her because I had to get away from football. I can only be emotionally invested in so many games before I start to lose it. I get like Mike Ditka on some bad PCP. It wasn’t as bad ten years ago when the Seminoles were cruising to a national championship and the Jaguars were having their best year. Now they both suck, but neither of them suck bad enough to just get blown out every game so there are no expectations. The Florida-Georgia game is what pushed me over the edge. The Gators had some problems on offense, and if the Bulldogs could manage not to do a bunch of stupid stuff they might have had a chance. Unfortunately, they’re as dumb as the Seminoles and much dumber than MJ’s students. Their epic display of fail yesterday made the Jaguars intolerable for me today. Sweet wounded Jesus! Could somebody, please, just for fun, try to help Maurice Jones-Drew, for a change, for once. I could feel some heart palpitations coming on, which is why I decided to go with MJ. Who picks the music for Starbucks? I don’t mind the jazz – because I’m queer – but I’m not sure I’ve ever heard anything played that I would have picked. I’m not really feeling any better, but I got a coffee out of the deal.