Some Winter Olympics Tweaks

I have some suggestions for the Winter Olympics. First is for the US to stop inventing sports just so we can win more medals. I think all the X-Games need to go, along with short track speed skating. The Olympics should include figure skating and “how Scandinavians get to the store”. I also don’t like team sports with huge professional leagues in the Olympics, winter or summer. I think the skiing events should be held in the forest, and wildlife should be a natural hazard. I think biathlon should get rid of target shooting and the skiers should have to bring home some kind of game. There will be a grading curve based on the carcass weight and the overall time, so there would be a balance. If Toki finishes ten seconds before Skwissgar but Toki drags a rabbit across the finish line while Skwissgar drags a polar bear, then Skwissgar wins. How dangerous the animal is will also be taken into account. A 60 pound wolverine counts more than 60 pound fawn. In regular cross country the wildlife would be a factor as well. If a pack of wolves is hunting a pack of skiers, well, you don’t have to be the fastest, just don’t be the slowest. Outright sabotage will be illegal. Stabbing an opponent in the leg to slow him down or save your own life will carry a penalty, possibly disqualification. I would also add an ice lake in ski jumping, kind of like a short water hazard in golf. It won’t be difficult to clear, but it will there to give the competitors something to think about. As for media coverage, the winners get hyped, not the photogenic athletes we think might have an outside shot at a medal. Finally, if a country is going to compete in one event, it has to compete in every event. If the Jamaicans want to send a bobsled team, they also have to send a cross country ski team. NBC is, reportedly, going to lose a $250 million on these games. I can’t imagine that showing a Rastafarian in the tundra with a rifle trying to shoot a walrus would hurt ratings.