Sucked Down A Wiki Whirlpool

I saw this in Whole Foods tonight and thought it was funny. Why were we shopping in Whole Foods? Because we’re damn dirty hippies, that’s why. I thought it was a clever joke like Cherry Garcia or something like that. It never occurred to me that a marionberry was a real thing. Fortunately, I have the interwebs so I looked it up and found out that it’s a type of blackberry. After learning that a marionberry was an actual fruit, I asked myself what the hell was wrong with Marion Berry’s mom. Again, thanks to the net, I learned that nothing was wrong with Mrs. BARRY. Even if the spelling wasn’t different, the crack smoking mayor was born twelve years before the government genetically engineered the marionberry. He was also hired as a consultant for an investment bank after leaving the office of Mayor of Washington D.C. for the second time. I would have loved to be at that meeting. How the hell could he consult for an investment bank? I mean other than helping find new ways to launder drug money. This sounds like the entire third season of The Wire. I’m really disappointed that all of the fun I saw in the yogurt carton disappeared when I found out the fruit was real and stopped misspelling Marion Barry’s name. The whole ride home I wondered if it was an energy yogurt with guarana or some other stimulant mimicking the effects of cocaine or if it was just one of many militant blackberry yogurts. Was there a stokleyberry or a hueyberry? Is there going to be a barackberry, which could be a barryberry, even though he’s not exactly militant? Hopefully, it will take off and hit the mainstream because I know I’m not the only one who will notice the name without knowing the berry.