Stupid Is As Stupid Does

I woke up this morning and I felt a little bit off. I didn’t really feel bad, just a little bit off. I went through my normal routine getting ready, but I was slow. Everything that’s normally automatic was taking a high level of mental focus. I thought it was just a case of the Mondays. Then I went to the gym. I was late and the pool had already been changed over to geriatric aquaerobics, so I skipped the swimming and headed upstairs to do my strength and cardio training. I struggled with my pushups. I forgot my gloves so my pull-ups were difficult. Strangely though, my abdominal work was easy – easier than I expected, that is. After those struggles, I hopped on the dreadmill and got nowhere. My body would not do what it was supposed to do. I slowed down, almost to a walk, but I was about to evacuate and that would have been extremely embarrassing. I couldn’t figure out what was wrong. I got a good night’s sleep. I ate a good breakfast. I was hydrated. Then it hit me. I got loose on some Natty Light on Sunday. My parents skipped lunch out together to come over earlier so they could spend more time with LMJ while she was awake. I got pizza and a 12 pack of Natural Light in cans. I thought it would be funny. I knew it would be cheap. Natty Light is garbage. I have no idea what they put in it. One of the great things about German beers is the purity laws – the other purity laws. There are a combination of five ingredients that are allowed to go into a German made beer. If there is an ingredient six then you must call it something other than beer. I wouldn’t be surprised if Natty Light has a bunch of road salt and broken glass in the secret recipe. There’s a reason it’s so cheap. I will not be making that mistake again.